Life has been buzzing by as I sit there and stare on my outlook with eyes glazed. Sometimes it feels that way. Perhaps that stone feeling stays there 50 percent of the time. Or I just feel that way inside as no smile freezes on my face.
I have been feeling suspended in the air for the past week. Just suspended there. And nothing else except darkness and what I saw were shades of darkness that looms in the eyesight. How does it get to there? I could not even phantom how my skeptical look sees and times out that way. My father has always told me that I cannot work with other people as my idealism is such that it may not give frame for other people to work on. Perhaps. As in my eyes, there were so many chances given that people in the end, takes her for granted before she cracks.
How do I stop feeling like a life's spectator? I zone in and out automatically. At least I do not do it most of the time as last. Perhaps the frequency has reduced. And I check into reality more often. But somehow I find myself flailing when he is not by my side. Like one side rear view mirror is missing so losing hold perspective sometimes happen.
This is the outlook for me today.
I do not need a physical hug from him. But him telling me that he misses me, would make me feel balanced somehow. Because I need a little balance today.
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