It's a lazy Saturday. The kids want to go swimming. I will abide. Alone again this weekend. Feeling down. Friendless. The friend who's able to attend by themselves. Without children. Me with headaches. Slow mood. Sad mood really.
Truth is, my pool of friends are various in the vanicinity of the heart. Many don't fit the bill now.
I slowly realize I just can't do with Aquarius and find that Aries can be so... I'm being difficult with myself. I just need to vomit whatever silent conversations my mind and heart is having. Perhaps some distraction will be good for me like window shopping. But of course, that will cost as well. Especially with stringing growing children. Food, coffee, snacks and menial things you find would be useful then and there but it completely useless. Ever.
A Gemini would be good right now. I miss my tiny Miss Gemini. She just sweeps herself away from me from the feelings she envelopes herself with. Like hibernation. Completely cutting off everyone she has come into contact with. She forgets that I'm naked inside whenever we're together. Maybe. I embrace flaws, fears, heartache, hate, love, being unloved. It makes you a person and I'm completely yours when you become bare with me.
I miss her. And she absolutely... I hope God is taking care of her. She deserves happiness. And it makes me happy to be able to heal with her. I heal when people around me do.
If only she can see the beauty of what she has as I see her.
Now let me cry in my sleep. Just because, I feel the need to. Because I know her too well. Just as the heart I have inside.
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