Truth Abrupts
Only so much can happen that the heart can consume. Or forced to. Especially when life explodes suddenly in your face when you least expect it.
Wednesday, 28 December 2016
Flustered and frustrated.
Thursday, 22 December 2016
Annoyed harassed feeling rant
Wednesday, 23 November 2016
Crack
The sense of rejection that I hate.
How does this spin around? How dimensional my emotions can be to feed the need of my multiple blogs with multiple identity in full anonymity? Why is the need to multiple things when they cannot be maintained, but often sought back for solace? Why the questions? Just questionably me, the INFJ. It puts you off feeling not normal at one point. So this is the one point down.
This headache.
This no desire to push one's self.
This dallying of time.
This brain that has no connection.
This fogginess is relentless as it had been here for days.
This arching pain must stop.
I haven't been feeling so alone for a long time. The courage to push was greater when it was before. It feels like I am floating in water of a coven looking outward into the sun and greater water. I feel the sensation. Bobbing up and down in the sea. Fresh water it seems. Just that, nothing else.
Photo was Googled |
The truth is...
I need space.
I am needing to run.
I need comfort.
I need appreciation.
So I will.
Thursday, 22 September 2016
Red
Saturday, 27 August 2016
Little Miss Gemini
It's a lazy Saturday. The kids want to go swimming. I will abide. Alone again this weekend. Feeling down. Friendless. The friend who's able to attend by themselves. Without children. Me with headaches. Slow mood. Sad mood really.
Truth is, my pool of friends are various in the vanicinity of the heart. Many don't fit the bill now.
I slowly realize I just can't do with Aquarius and find that Aries can be so... I'm being difficult with myself. I just need to vomit whatever silent conversations my mind and heart is having. Perhaps some distraction will be good for me like window shopping. But of course, that will cost as well. Especially with stringing growing children. Food, coffee, snacks and menial things you find would be useful then and there but it completely useless. Ever.
A Gemini would be good right now. I miss my tiny Miss Gemini. She just sweeps herself away from me from the feelings she envelopes herself with. Like hibernation. Completely cutting off everyone she has come into contact with. She forgets that I'm naked inside whenever we're together. Maybe. I embrace flaws, fears, heartache, hate, love, being unloved. It makes you a person and I'm completely yours when you become bare with me.
I miss her. And she absolutely... I hope God is taking care of her. She deserves happiness. And it makes me happy to be able to heal with her. I heal when people around me do.
If only she can see the beauty of what she has as I see her.
Now let me cry in my sleep. Just because, I feel the need to. Because I know her too well. Just as the heart I have inside.